Sunday Challenge 5 Adria's Challenge
by Fruity Robins
Summary: Take our beloved Sohmas and put them in either a situation inspired by literature (example: Yuki falls asleep in his garden and follows Momiji down a rabbit hole a la 'Alice in Wonderland') or simply some wacky scenario that
1. Idol Japan TV, Episode 35 by Adria

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket. Natsuki Takaya does.

A/N: This is in response to my own challenge, haha! It should be noted that I know next to nothing about the idol business in Japan, jpop, or how a live television broadcast is done. The purpose in writing this was basically to make fun of the entire pop/idol scene. As a result, this is most definitely a work of _fiction_. As such, any names/groups/website references you see in this fic (with the exception of Tohru, Arisa, and Sohmas, et al) are, to my knowledge, my own creations. Okay, with the exception of _L'arcenCiel_. That was a shout-out to Ina-chan and Rjunkie. Read and enjoy!

**Idol Japan TV, Episode 35**

"Remind me again why we have to do this?" Kyo groused.

"My dear Kyo…this is necessary! Exposure at this point in your careers is essential to your longevity and increasing your fan base!" Shigure replied carelessly. He was eyeing the lovely young things who had just emerged from the makeup room. The taller girl had lightened hair and dark eyes and eyebrows that arched sharply, giving her an intense, forbidding expression. The other girl was smaller, with long, soft brown hair, big blue eyes and a sweet, if a little clueless, expression on her face. "And here are the hosts of this show! Arisa-chan, Tohru-kun, over here!" Shigure sang, waving like a maniac.

Both girls turned at his call, but when the smaller girl moved towards him the taller girl held her back. She shook her head slightly and moved ahead of her. The pair approached Shigure slowly, the more intense girl leading the way. The shorter girl smiled widely as they stopped.

"Hello, Shigure-san! It's nice to see you again!" she bowed as she spoke. Kyo glanced away as Shigure's gaze slowly traveled over the girls.

"Shigure-san." The other girl said shortly, formally. Her frigid tone brought his gaze back up to the girls' faces.

"Ah, Arisa-chan! Protective as ever, I see! When will you realize that I hold no danger to your precious friend?"

"When you keep your eyes above her collarbone."

"EH?!" the other girl, whom Kyo assumed was Shigure's 'Tohru-kun' (what kind of name was 'Tohru' for a girl, anyway?) gasped.

"His eyes were all over you—" Arisa stopped herself and glared at Shigure. "It's okay. I'm sure he wouldn't do anything to compromise the _integrity_ of the band he's representing. Would you, Shigure-san?"

"Arisa-chan! You're so suspicious! Of course I wouldn't do anything like that. The consequences would be dire." He shuddered a bit overdramatically. Tohru's expression immediately went from shock to concern.

"Of course you wouldn't, Shigure-san! You are so kind to take your job so seriously!" she enthused.

"Kind?" Shigure mused on the word for a moment. "Not I. It is you who are kind, my dear Tohru-kun. Your concern for my welfare is heartwarming!" Tohru blushed and shook her head.

"No, no, I'm not so—"

"I hate to break up this touching scene," a new voice cut in, "but we've got ten minutes until showtime. Where's your group, Sohma-san?"

"Mr. Director! They'll be along shortly. They're in makeup right now." The older man nodded distractedly and faced the two girls.

"Shouldn't you be on the set?"

"Yes, sir!" they replied. Arisa moved towards the set while Tohru bowed to Shigure and made her excuses.

"Come on, Tohru!"

"I'm sorry, Shigure-san…Oh! I'm coming, Uo-chan!" Kyo grunted to himself as he watched the smaller girl rush off.

"See something you like, Kyo-Kyo?" Shigure asked with a grotesquely wide smile.

"I'm not like you, hentai inu!"

"Aaaand….ACTION!"

"Hello!" the two girls chorused. "This is Idol Japan TV!"

"I'm Arisa!"

"I'm Tohru!"

"And we're here to introduce you to the hottest, newest, and best in Japanese entertainment!" Arisa continued.

"I'm very excited about the group we're featuring today! Aren't you excited, Uo-chan?" Tohru glanced a little shakily from the teleprompter to her friend. Arisa draped an arm around her friend and grinned at the camera, holding out her hand in a 'peace' sign.

"You bet I am, Tohru! Today we're going to talk with the newest group to hit number 1 on the Japan Rock charts! That's right boys and girls, Tohru and I are going to interview Cursed Zodiac!"

"I love their new single!" Tohru chimed in, smiling hugely at the camera.

"I love their guitarist!" Arisa looked at the camera lense slyly, turning her head so she had to look sideways to see it clearly.

"Uo-chan! You haven't even met him yet!" Tohru was obviously shocked.

"I know, I know!" the other girl laughed. Tohru turned to face the camera again.

"We have an extra special treat for our viewers tonight! Cursed Zodiac will be performing live in the studio!" The TV audience began cheering and screaming. The two hosts waited patiently for the cries to quiet down. "They'll be performing their hit single 'Ownership'!" More cheers, and more waiting. The director was giving the 10-second-to-commercial sign.

"So stay tuned, everybody! After the break we'll be talking with Cursed Zodiac!" Arisa exclaimed.

"Aaaaand….WE'RE AT COMMERCIAL!"

Arisa stretched and wrapped her arms around Tohru. "You were great!"

"I wasn't as good as you are, Uo-chan!" she protested. The makeup people began to touch up their faces, blotting some spots and powdering others. The band was ushered onstage and seated on a long couch. Arisa and Tohru took their seats on small chairs at either side of the couch.

"Aaaaand…WE'RE BACK!"

"Hi again and welcome back to the show!" Tohru said, smiling. "I'm here with Sohma Yuki, Sohma Kyo, Sohma Kagura, and Sohma Hatsuharu. Together they are Cursed Zodiac!"

"Hello!" the group chimed, some more cheerfully than others. Actually, only one, the cute, dark-haired girl in a flirty little dress and combat boots, seemed happy to be there. The others looked like they either didn't care or would rather be somewhere else.

"Hey!" Arisa replied, winking at the audience. "Why don't you introduce yourselves to our fabulous viewers?" Cheers erupted at her request.

The almost-too-pretty-to-be-a-boy with gray hair ducked his head briefly and responded smoothly, "I'm Sohma Yuki. It's nice to be here." Female cries and screams filled the studio for several minutes. He ducked his head again.

"I'm Sohma Kagura! Thank you very much for having us!" the lone girl said excitedly. "I've been a fan of this show for a long time!"

"You have?" The hosts chorused, one in excitement, the other in disbelief.

"Oh, yes! I love the show almost as much as I love—"

"Don't say it!" The orange-haired member of the group growled out. He glared at the two hosts (Tohru shrank a bit under his gaze) and at the audience. "I'm Sohma Kyo." He started at the audience's uproar.

"Sohma Hatsuharu." The last member of the group said in an almost bored tone. He gazed benignly at the audience, who again erupted in cheers almost as loudly as they had for Yuki.

"It's so nice to have you all here!" Tohru exclaimed.

"No, no, the pleasure is all ours!" Kagura replied, smiling at the brown-haired girl.

"Ahem!" Arisa cut in. "We have a lot of questions for you! First of all, what instruments do you play in the band?"

"I play piano," Yuki replied smoothly. "And I sing."

"I play guitar." Hatsuharu appeared to be inspecting his cuticles.

"Bass." Kyo ground out, glaring at Shigure, who was just behind the cameras giving the group a thumbs-up.

"And I play the drums!" Kagura exclaimed.

"That's unusual, isn't it?" Arisa asked at the same time Tohru cried, "That wonderful!"

"Thank you, Tohru-chan! I guess it is a bit unusual. But I can't sing, and I'm very strong. I broke the guitar strings every time I tried to play them and my piano playing is much closer to a 3 year old's!" Kagura laughed. "I found the drums by process of elimination!"

"You're a very good drummer, Kagura-san!" Tohru said.

"Thank you!"

"How long have you been playing piano, Yuki-san?" Arisa asked. Yuki straightened slightly and brushed a wayward lock of shaggy hair out of his face. A collective sigh went up from the audience.

"For a long time," he said, "As long as I can remember. It was very important to my family that I learn."

"Do they all play piano?"

"No, actually none of them do. I suppose they wanted me to stand out."

"Really? Don't you like playing piano, Yuki-san?" Tohru asked quietly. Her voice was gentle. He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.

"I'm not sure whether I like it or not, Tohru-san. I've never thought about it. I've simply played it all my life."

"Sounds sad." Arisa observed. She turned to Hatsuharu. "Hatsuharu-san, you're my favorite guitarist! How did you get your hair like that?" she asked, pepping up her voice to draw attention from the bleeding-heart expression on Tohru's face. The boy looked at her calmly, directly, and shrugged.

"It just grows this way." He went back to inspecting his cuticles.

"Oooh, he's very enigmatic!" Arisa told the camera. "A quiet one! Be careful, all you Hatsuharu fans! Getting close to him is not going to be easy!" From the cheers, it appeared that a good portion of the audience was up to the challenge.

"Kyo-san?" Tohru faced Kyo, who was seated as far away from the other three as the long couch would allow. He started and looked at her.

"What?"

"Oh!" Tohru started. "Do you like playing bass?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"I like it just fine."

"Do you have any hobbies?" Arisa asked the group.

"I have a couple of hobbies," Yuki responded, smiling a bit stiffly at the camera. He tried not to look as self-conscious as he felt.

"Do tell?" Arisa pressed on.

"I'd rather not…" he said. "It's very personal."

"Okay, then! Hatsuharu?"

"I like photography." The black-and-white-haired boy replied diffidently.

"Do you take pictures of anything in particular?"

"Yuki."

"That's amazing, Hatsuharu-san!" Tohru said warmly. "It must be wonderful to take pictures!"

The boy shrugged. "Anyone can do it."

"Yes, but not everyone wants to! It's wonderful that you want to!"

"Do you have any hobbies, Kyo?" Arisa asked. He looked away from her.

"I study martial arts with Shishou."

"Shishou?"

"Oh, yes!" Kagura replied. "We've all studied with Shihan! Kyo was raised by him. That's how we all met!"

"Really?" Tohru asked, eyes shining.

"Mm-hmm! Yuki was the best at it, though."

"You've studied martial arts, too, Yuki?" Tohru asked in wonder. "That must have been great!"

"I'll beat him!" Kyo glared at that slighter boy over Kagura's and Hatsuharu's heads. "I'll beat him one day! Then he won't be the best any more!"

"Maybe when I'm dead, stupid cat." Yuki replied icily. Behind the cameras, Shigure began to shake his head. Kyo shot up to his feet.

"Damn rat! I _will_ beat you!" The director gave the 10-second signal and the cameras all focused on Tohru.

"Stay tuned! We'll continue talking with Cursed Zodiac!"

"Aaaaand…WE'RE AT COMMERCIAL!"

"You damn rat!"

"You should calm down, Kyo. We're on live television." Hatsuharu said.

"Stay out of this, Haru!"

"He's right, Kyo!" Kagura chimed in. "This is important!"

"Um, um," Tohru was staring at the furious boy. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm afraid not, Tohru-san," Yuki replied. "He's been like this since we were very young."

"Shut up!"

"Sit down, Kyo!" Shigure said from his safe place. "Akito won't like this." Kyo glared alternately at him and Yuki for several seconds before sitting back down on the couch. Tohru looked relieved. Arisa looked impatient. The makeup crew finished blotting and powdering everyone's faces and stepped off stage.

"Aaaand…WE'RE BACK!"

"Hello and welcome back to Idol Japan TV!" Arisa smiled. "We're talking with Cursed Zodiac and so far we've discovered that everyone here met as children at Kyo's father's dojo! Isn't that cool?"

"It is! It is!" Tohru exclaimed.

"So you're all related?" Arisa switched gears abruptly. The group was silent for a second before Kagura and Hatsuharu looked expectantly at Yuki.

"Ah, yes. Although some of us are more distantly related than others. We're all cousins."

"It must be so wonderful to have such a large family!" Tohru couldn't hide her enthusiasm.

"I suppose so." Yuki replied vaguely. "Although sometimes it can be a bit stressful."

"I can see that," Arisa said. "Especially at family gatherings. That's a lot of names to keep straight!"

"Ah…yes."

"Not only that, Yuki-san, but you have your own unofficial fan club!"

"Do I?" Yuki looked sheepish.

"Yes! In fact, I have it on good authority that nearly all of the female student body at one of Tokyo's largest high schools is a member!" Arisa grinned in feral delight at Yuki's discomfiture. "It's called the 'Prince Yuki Fan Club!"

"I…see." Yuki looked even more uncomfortable. "That's very flattering."

"Yuki is popular everywhere he goes!" Kagura said without a hint of jealousy.

"Yes, he is." Hatsuharu agreed. "He's very well-liked." Yuki looked up for a moment and when he looked back over the audience his expression was calm and smiling.

"Thank you very much. My fans mean a lot to me."

"And from the fan response, you're all very popular! Your release 'Ownership' entered the charts at number 1!"

"Thank you very much!" Yuki, Kagura, and Hatsuharu replied, bowing their heads towards the audience, who erupted in applause.

"What inspired you to write that song, Yuki-san?"

"Ah…life in general, I suppose."

"Really?" both girls chorused.

"Yes. It seems to me that people often feel out of control and I wanted to express that in the song."

"You did a good job!" Tohru replied. "It's a wonderful song! The first time I heard it, I cried."

"You cried? Why?" Kyo asked. "It's just a song."

"It just seemed so sad and…desperate. Like the person it was about didn't know whether to love or to hate whoever owned him. I wanted to reassure that person that it, well…that it was okay to feel both ways." Tohru looked over Kyo's head for a moment. "I guess I wanted to give the person a hug." She laughed sheepishly.

"Isn't she cute?" Arisa said. "That's our Tohru! That's why we love her!"

"A hug?" Yuki asked quietly. "That must be nice."

"To be hugged?"

"Yes."

"So I take it that none of you have a special someone in your life?" Arisa leaped on the opening.

"The only person I love is—" Kagura began excitedly, leaning towards Kyo and reaching out.

"Don't say it!" If anything, Kyo leaned even further over the couch arm. "Just. Don't. Say. It!"

"Kyo!" Kagura finished. She grabbed Kyo around the waist in a tight hug. "I love him!"

"No one ever said I felt the same!"

"You don't?" Kagura looked sadly at Kyo before turning to the audience. "You will! I'll make you love me, Kyo! I love you more than anything!" The audience cheered at the heartfelt declaration.

"That's so wonderful, Kagura-san!" Tohru exclaimed. "I wish I had someone in my life I felt that way about!" The two girls smiled at each other in sudden friendship.

"She complimented me!"

"She sure did!" Arisa cut in. "So, Yuki-san, Hatsuharu-san, no girlfriends?"

"I don't see that as a possibility in the near future. We're very busy with our careers and our fans at this point. It would be difficult to have a girlfriend with our schedule." Yuki replied smoothly. Hatsuharu merely looked off into the distance.

"Get that, girls? Yuki and Hatsuharu are available! But only at your own risk. It's true that the life of an up-and-coming rock band is very busy!" Arisa told the audience, who cheered and screamed for several seconds. "Stay tuned, because when we come back from the break Cursed Zodiac will be performing their hit single 'Ownership' live in the studio!"

"I can't wait!" Tohru said happily.

"Aaaand…WE'RE AT COMMERCIAL!"

"Whew!" Arisa gusted. "You guys sure are unpredictable." She glanced towards Kagura, who still had a vice grip on Kyo. To his credit, Kyo had only started seriously struggling once they had gone to break.

"But it's good that you're unpredictable! Change is good!" Tohru said, carefully edging away from the flailing arms.

"Let go of me!"

"Aw, Kyo…."

"We have to get ready to perform!" he shouted. "How are you gonna drum if you don't let go of me!" He was desperate to breathe, to run away, for her to let go…anything!

"Okay." Kagura let him go so suddenly that he fell over the couch arm and landed in an untidy heap.

"You didn't have to let go so suddenly!"

"Stupid cat."

"It really is your own fault, Kyo," Hatsuharu said. "You haven't been very forthright with her."

"Shut up!" Kyo leaped to his feet and stormed over to their instruments. He picked up his bass and began to check its tune, turning his back on his cousins. Yuki sighed irritably and followed. Arisa stared at his back before looking at the other two; Kagura skipped to her drum kit and Hatsuharu shrugged, arms behind his neck, winked at both Tohru and Arisa and strolled slowly to his place on the stage.

The pair took their places.

"Aaaand…WE'RE BACK!"

"Welcome back to Idol Japan TV!" Both girls exclaimed, grinning hugely.

"Now it's time for the special treat we promised!"

"Cursed Zodiac is here live in the studio and has agreed to perform live!"

"It's a great honor!"

"And now…"

"Here's Cursed Zodiac with their hit single 'Ownership'!" both girls cried and threw out their right hands towards the band. The camera followed their gestures and rested on Yuki, seated at his piano and lit by a single overhead spotlight. The audience cheered for several minutes and he waited patiently for the clapping, whistling, and screaming to quiet before he began to play.

The notes were sad, the melody haunting.

We grew up together 

_I was yours from my birth_

_You knew this_

_You used this_

_You didn't care how I hurt._

As he sang, the stage lights came up slowly until Kyo and Hatsuharu were revealed to the audience, who burst into applause and cheers again. Kagura tapped a quick four-count, the noise from the crowd drowning out the sharp sounds of her sticks and at the last count Hatsuharu joined in, followed by Kyo and Kagura. The sound went from melancholy and haunting to raw and hurting.

_You told me it was my fault,_

_I can't help the way I am,_

_You deceived me,_

_You convinced me,_

_The world was in your hands._

_You own me, _

_Heart and Soul,_

_You own me,_

_Blood and bone,_

_You own me,_

_My tears will fall…_

_On your unforgiving shoulders,_

_I find my own salvation,_

_You held me,_

_You loved me,_

_Through all my protestations._

_You own me,_

_Joy and sadness,_

_You own me,_

_Pain and pleasure, _

_You own me, _

_Let me go…_

_Never hold me back, my love,_

_Never let me go,_

_I love you,_

_I hate you,_

_You are my heart and soul,_

_I'll take it back,_

_You own me,_

_I'll free myself,_

_You own me,_

_I'll find a way,_

_You own me,_

_I'll find my way…_

_Let me go._

With a last, deafening crash of drums and plaintive guitar and keys, the song ended. The audience screamed and cried, clapped and whistled. Glowsticks had appeared in the hands of many. Tohru was discreetly dabbing tears from her eyes as the camera once again focused on the two girls to the side of the stage.

"Wow…that was awesome!" Arisa exclaimed.

"Yes, it was!" Tohru echoed. "What a great performance!"

"Take it from us!" Arisa wrapped an arm around the still-sniffling Tohru and gave another 'peace' sign. "If you ever get the opportunity to see these guys live, take it! Take it! It's worth it!"

"It is! It is! It is!"

"Come back to us next week, when we'll be talking with Hakuto Suriyama, the hottest R&B singer of the year!"

"He's got the most-downloaded picture on Sonny's Singles, the company that also represents the band _Dreaming of Sunday_!"

"If you don't believe us, check out his pic on the web! This guy is h-o-t, _hot!_"

"We'll also be airing the top three music videos of the year, as picked by you! Vote now at !"

The two girls joined the band, who gathered around them. Kagura wrapped her arms around Kyo (who managed to look calm despite the wild fear in his eyes), Haru had an arm draped over Yuki's shoulders and a hand on Arisa's shoulder. Tohru had linked arms with the other two girls.

"Let's all thank _Cursed Zodiac _for performing live! Thank you very much!"

"Thank you for having us!"

Arisa and Tohru stepped forward. "Thank you very much for watching!"

"They are a great band, aren't they?"

"Come back next week for another exciting episode!"

"I'm Tohru!"

"I'm Arisa!"

"And this has been IDOL JAPAN TV!"

"Aaaand…WE'RE OFF THE AIR!"

"Good show, Arisa-chan, Tohru-kun!" Shigure stepped onto the stage.

"Thank you very much!" Tohru exclaimed. Kyo glared at them and stalked off backstage, Kagura following him. "It wouldn't be a show without the band though, would it? Thank you very much for being on the show!"

"It was nothing." He glanced over towards Arisa, who was looking at Kyo's back with distaste.

"What a _child_." She said. Shigure shrugged.

"Yuki-san, you sang wonderfully!" Tohru faced the dark-haired boy. His face was sheened with sweat.

"Thank you. Those spotlights get hot," he said, taking the handkerchief Tohru offered and blotting his face. "You are very kind."

"Eh? No, no, anyone would do this! It's just a handkerchief!" Tohru's eyes widened as Yuki leaned closer.

"Not everyone." He handed back the cloth. "You're cute."

"EH?!" Tohru jumped, looking glassy-eyed. "Oh, I'm not! Arisa is much prettier! She looks like a model! I—"

"I'm not looking at Arisa right now, am I? I think you're very cute." Shigure and Hatsuharu approached the pair.

"Yuki, we've got a radio show to do in an hour."

"Yes, Shigure." He turned back towards Tohru. "Maybe I'll take you up on that hug sometime."

"EH?!" Yuki smiled quietly and walked away. Arisa and Tohru watched them leave in wonder.

"Kind of a trip, aren't they?"

"They were certainly a surprise!"

"Well, one thing's for sure." Arisa said with sudden decision. "They may be good, but they're definitely no L'arcenCiel!"


	2. Princes, Witches and Other Anomalies by ...

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and all its characters are properties of Takaya Natsuki-sensei and Hana to Yume comics. Everything else in this fanfic are figments of my imagination. Any similarities to name, places, yada yada yada are simply examples of the world's many coincidental mysteries.

December 23, 2004  
**_PRINCES, WITCHES AND OTHER ANOMALIES _**(Teaser)  
**_Written By Ina-chan  
_**_**Story Development By Ina-chan & RJunkie**_

_CHAPTER THE FIRST: Of which the maid begins her journey_

Once upon a time, long long ago... that's how it always starts doesn't it? Whether it be an epic tale of adventure, love, romance, conspiracy and betrayal... every fairy tale story starts with 'once upon a time', 'long long ago', or 'many years ago'... and almost always, spoken by an invisible, detached, omniscient narrator.

Well, we'll put an end to that!

Hello, I've have been many people and have been called many names by many people... some of them not very pleasant. But for you, my friends, you may call me, Shigure. For that is the name that she had given me and I... I shall be your narrator for tonight.

This story will have adventure, conspiracy, betrayal... and maybe even a little love and romance on the side. There will be an evil witch, a dwarf, a fairy godmother and a fairy godmother assistant, and ninjas. There will be children who fly, oh... and princes and princesses. Princes and princesses galore! Princes and princesses in different shapes, sizes, and forms. And most importantly, there will be a lost child trying to find her way home...

And yes, I know all this and everything that has happened and will happen in this story... I am the narrator after all.

**"VOYEUR!"**

Don't mind that. Some people just can't appreciate what is needed to be done to become an excellent storyteller. And this story I'm going to tell you didn't happen 'once upon a time', or 'long long ago'. In fact, it happened just the other day... or so.

It was a dark and gloomy almost winter's time, when the skies held the promise that snow would drift down from the heavens at anytime. Our sweet little flower came home from school at that. It was then that our sweet little flower decided to take a nice long leisurely bath.

**"YOU PERVERT!"**

Can you please SHUT UP! And allow me to tell my story in peace? Thank you.

Now where was I? Yes, our little flower had decided to take a nice hot dip. And she was humming. Softly and melodiously, humming to herself. Ah! Such a sweet song that can make even a man with the coldest of hearts weep. Our sweet little flower had just finished scrubbing and was ready to enter the bath when the door opened to reveal her full beautiful glo---

**"Anou... actually, Shigure-san, that's not how it happened. I mean, it's true that the door opened when I was about to take a bath, but I wasn't..."**

Shhh... ah-heh-heh... It's alright, Tooru-kun. You're probably still just... ah-heh-heh... a little confused. Just sit back, relax and listen to the story. I suggest it be the same with the rest of you. It would be a shame if you miss something important and let me tell you why. Everything in this story happened in a blink of an eye.

It started just the other day while our beloved little flower was about to take a bath, the door opened and walked in, a very startled little cat...

"KYAAAAAAA!!!!" Tooru screamed, completely startled as she closed her open blouse to cover her exposed front

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!" Kyou screamed back as he instantly shielded his eyes, completely red in embarrassment, and frozen to his place in shock, "GODDAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! LOCK THE DAMNED WASHROOM WHEN YOU'RE USING IT!!!"

"AH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY KYOU-KUN! DON'T GET MAD!" Tooru began babbling incoherently, her arms flapping wildly as she started to walk closer to apologize to the red-faced boy. Of course, only to allow her unbuttoned shirt to fly open again.

"DAMMIT! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" Kyou screamed in horror as his legs finally received the orders from his brain to turn around and rush out of the room.

But not before the girl tripped over her own feet at that notion. The Cat could only watch in terror as everything happened in slow motion. Our little flower tripping and falling and falling and --- POOF!

The next thing he knew, poor lucky Kyou on the floor, being heavenly squished by a pair of soft luscious juicy...

**"SHUT UP! SHIGURE, IF YOU ADD ONE MORE WORD, I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"**

Well, needless to say, the Cat, who was now literally a cat, ran away squealing like a little girl...

**"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE DEAD SHIGURE!!!"**

It's a joke! Kyou-kun! A joke! Can't you take a... ITTTAI!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! GET HIM OFF ME!!!

**"Sh-sh-shigure-san! K-kyou-kun!"**

**_"Huaaaa!!! Good luck To-ru! Well, since Shi-chan is a little bit busy right now, I'll take over the narration for a little bit. I don't know the whole story, but I'll do my best! And make sure you watch out for my part later, ne? I'm going to play a major role! Well, then, are we ready? Vondervoll! Let's begin!"_**

_**To-ru, being the very kind person that she is, ran after Kyo without a second thought. Even though it wasn't her fault at all, she felt that she had to apologize. So out of the washroom, out of the house, out to the path, and into the woods... To-ru ran and ran and ran after the cat that darted from the edge of her sight like orange lightning. She ran and ran and ran until...**_

_**...she tripped (again)...**_

_**...and found herself inside a hole on the ground.**_

**_I know what you're thinking. It must be a magical hole that connects the real world to a parallel dimension. Sort of like that girl who ran after a cute little bunny and found herself in Wonderland or something like that. Well, I hate to disappoint you. It was just an ordinary hole. A hole deep enough and small enough to hold a person standing up... of you're short enough, that is. _**

"Anou... Kyou-kun? Shigure-san? Yuki-kun? Anyone?" Tooru called out from her hole, upon realizing that she had no way of getting out without help.

_**Unfortunately, To-ru was short enough. You see, it wasn't meant for her.**_

**_It was one of the booby traps we made some time ago, to prevent Ha-ru from getting lost. We got the idea from one Shi-chan's books, but it didn't really work too well because people other than Ha-ru kept on falling in it and Harii got mad.... well to make the long story short, this was one of the holes we dug and sort of forgot all about._**

**_So as I mentioned before it was just an ordinary hole..._**

...or is it, Momichi?

_**Ah, Shi-chan! Are you back?**_

Yes. It's very fortunate that Kagura was conveniently passing by to keep Kyou-kun occupied... at least until the very end of the story. So hopefully, that will be the end of all our rude interruptions. Thank you for covering for me.

_**You're very welcome. But make sure to watch out for my real appearance in the story! I have a great part!**_

Of course you do, all of us are looking forward to it.

"Anou..." Tooru's voice called out from the hole, "I'm still here..."

Ah! Yes, I'm sorry Tooru-kun. Let's continue on with the story.

It was at this point that our little flower fell into a distressing situation. Without a doubt, there was no way out. From the trap that destiny had befallen on her lap. But wait... it is quite fortunate, I should say. For that dreary almost winter's day, a mysterious passing traveler came that way. The first of many who will come to her aid, to the various trials this adventure would bade.

"Hello there!" Said the mysterious stranger, as he peered down the gap that held our poor heroine in its trap

"Shigure-san? Is that you?" Tooru called out hopefully, upon seeing and hearing her saviour, "Please! Can you help me get out?"

And that, I must explain, was how this omniscient narrator had gained a name.

"Of course my lady," Shigure replied, as he pulled her out, all the while smiling wide, "But I must ask, sweet miss, what it is that you do here? In the enchanted forest where no help is likely to be near?"

"Shigure-san? Why are you talking like that?," A frown marred the girl's delicate face, "Enchanted forest? This is just the woods outside your house. Kyou-kun ran this way, so I was chasing him..."

"My dear sweet child, I'm afraid to let you down," Said the man, "But none from here is any house, or town. Monsters roam and bandits prey on any unsuspecting sap that comes their way."

The girls eyes widened in horror, "Are there g-ghosts as well?"

The man nodded, "Ghosts wander aplenty, though they are least of what you should worry."

"If this really is an enchanted forest, and not the woods outside Shigure-san's house... then how do I get back home?" Tooru wondered aloud with a small shudder, still thinking about the ghosts

"Ah, that is a question," Shigure agreed aloud

A question in which the answer I very much know. In which, unfortunately, I had no power to bestow. Such is the fate of a narrator such as me. While I know how the story will come to be, I can only tell parts of the tale at the absolute right time, no matter how hard you beg or whine. Its part of the rules that I must sit and wait as the characters of this play choose their own fate. But of course, it is within me to give a hint or a song to help keep the story moving along.

"There is one person who could help you in your plight. A benevolent figure bathed in glorious light. Perhaps your wish will be granted readily," Shigure said very cheerfully, "If you chose to come and follow me hither, I shall take you to the Fairy Godmother."

"Ah! If the Fairy Godmother can help me, then please, lead me there," Tooru replied with a polite bow

And that, my friends, was how it began... the first step to a wonderful journey.

"snort That didn't even rhyme."

Kyou-kun, if you say another word, I'll tell Kagura you're hiding under the table.

".........damn you."

Good kitty.

End of Chapter the First  
To be Continued on Chapter the Second: Of which the maid becomes a princess

* * *

Author's Squawk: 

This was originally meant to be a one-shot after Adria's challenge in the Fruity Robin group. RJunkie and I developed the story and created the outline, and I realized that it was impossible to turn it into a one shot. So I will post the first chapter here as a teaser and please follow the succeeding chapters in it's own title later on.

So usual thank yous... Adria, for your wonderful challenge! And RJunkie for sharing the insanity!

Ja!  
Ina-chan


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